So in a fit of madness today, we went and got the building permit for the house. Of course we hadn't really planned on getting it today, but then Scott looked at me and was all like, we should get the building permit this afternoon. And then my brain was all like oh god that will make it real and then we have to build it and what if I run out of money or the foundation explodes or I get house cancer or what if we have like a heat wave forever and then we can never work on it and then the county gets mad and pulls the permit and I have to live in this mobile home forever and no one will love me ever again because I will be a big fat failure.
And then I was all like, sure we can do that. So I threw everything I thought I would need into my bag and then we went on down to the courthouse. Of course I had brought the plans and a copy of the plans and the septic approval paper work and then we get there and all they do is ask us how many square ft and how many bedrooms and make a copy of the septic paper work and then I paid them 50$ for the permit and we left.
I got the impression that they didn't have many people trying to build their own homes because two separate people asked if it was a modular home and then both of them had to hunt down the check mark on the form that said “site build.”
So then I shoved the permit into my bag and we left and I was all happy but inside I was kinda like, that was it? It was harder to get septic approval then it was to get a permit to build the damn house. They didn't even ask what it was going to be made of.
I could've been making a house out of tires and flaming bicycle parts for all they know.
Although that probably won't pass a electrical and plumbing inspection.
So then we came home and worked more on treating the house logs and then we used the backhoe to start clearing the house and septic site and then I kept thinking that this was finally going to happen and then I kept thinking that I should be super ridiculous excited but instead I just felt nervous as hell because now we have to build this house.
So the next step is clearing the house site and waking up in the middle of the night and thinking really? REALLY?
So I feel kinda weird is what I am saying. Like excitement and terror have smashed into each other so hard that I am left with a new emotion that I can't really identify well. It feels exactly like that moment before you dive off a diving board or a cliff or a rope swing into the water.
I suppose I am just waiting for it to sink in, but I somehow suspect it probably won't until I am out there in 80+ degree temperatures pouring a footer.
Or it might sink in tomorrow and I will end up hyperventilating under my desk.
It could go either way really.