Wednesday, July 22, 2020

I'm back!

Who lost there job due to Covid- 19? Who is trying to hack it as a writer because I have shit else going for me!? I am. So here I am trying to revamp a blog from like, a million years ago.

In the time we have spend apart I have, built my own house, become a camera women, had my dog die, wrote a fantasy novel, gained a best friend and watched my husbands medical problems get worse. I'm pretty sure the past two specialists we've seen spent medical school poking erasers up their noses. Not that I am bitter or anything.*

So I am starting this blog again so when perspective literary people ask if I have a website I can point them to my blog where I like swear a fuck ton and shit. Okay maybe this isn't such a hot idea but I am not willing to build a brand new website and juggle all the other shit I have to do. So if anyone is still reading it would be great if you could leave a comment or two about how great a writer I am and how you would totally buy my book if I could just find someone to publish it.  

*Fuck you Dr. Riggs.

Monday, January 13, 2014

My Mobile Home Caught on Fire.

On Saturday the 4th my mobile home caught on fire. I mean like really a whole lot on fire. It was my husbands birthday that day too. Here are some bullet points. Because I know you have questions.

  1. Me and Scott are fine, well if you count breathing in a bunch of toxic burning mobile home parts fine. We have inhalers.
  2. The dog and cat are both fine as well and all the outdoor cats are present and accounted for as well.
  3. Most of our clothing made it intact, as well as most of my books, but we lost nearly everything in the kitchen and part of living room.
  4. Yes, we had insurance.
  5. I don't want to sound like, uh, I am pressuring you here, but if you would like to help out in anyway you may notice that buy my prints button I have... it's the one with the rooster.

Here is what happened. The wood stove which we had JUST CLEANED and replaced the chimney, caught fire and burned to the ground. That ignited the propane tank right beside the trailer, and caught the whole damn thing on fire. Scott used ever portable fire extinguisher we had to you know, try to stop my fiery death trap from claiming all of our shit. I was out taking the dog for a walk when I looked up and saw that my mobile home was a whole more on fire then I remembered it. So I ran all the way back to the house UPHILL tried to turn on our super no freeze yard water spigot thing and it was all like, ha ha lol no water for you sucker.

Of course then I freaked out and panicked because all my shit was still in there. Scott had been able to get out his laptop, three guitars the Internet and Emoticon (the cat) before all hell broke loose.

Let me tell you something right here right now.

When there is a fire, you will forget everything you have ever learned about fire safety. Everything. All of it.

The first thing I did upon realizing getting water was super not going to happen at all ever was freak out that my shit was in that burning metal rectangle. So I dove back into the front door to be met by a rolling wave of heat and then I felt it hit my face and I panicked and inhaled and grabbed my phone and ran out again. Like you do.

Of course then I ran back around the building to where the fire was because I realized that if it didn't want to lose everything I was going to have to do SOMETHING. At this point I realized two things, one the propane tank was setting my wall on fire, and two one of my windows was melting. So in a fit is desperation I ran back around to the front of the house and grabbed a snow shovel. And then I proceeded to shovel snow on to a BURNING PROPANE TANK that was surrounded by other propane tanks.

I figured if I was going to die I was going to go with my computers.

At some point I heard sirens and then the firefighters pulled up and asked them to “please help me save all my shit.” Then they went into my house and did fireman things while I stood in the yard with the one guy who didn't have on of those mask things on. He asked how the fire started. I told him. I told him that I had tried to keep it contained by shoveling snow on to the propane tank. Then he gave me a look. Then I told him “like you wouldn't have.” Then he nodded and then we both stared at my burning shit. Then I told him I needed a hug. We hugged.

Because sometimes you just need a goddamned hug.

Then the ambulances arrived and I got to go on my first ambulance ride because it hurt to breath air. I mean like really a lot hurt. From the hospital I managed to contact my aunt to come get my pets and then she came and got us and took us to her house and fed us soup and whiskey and I decided to nominate her for sainthood.

When I got back to the place we had a nice 12 foot long hole in the wall where out kitchen/living room was. So now we are taking out what was left and preparing to tear down the trailer and put in a small cabin to live in while the house is being built.

I am very tired as I have been going balls to the wall to you know, have a place to live again that is not my aunt's spare bedroom. Luckily almost all of out clothing and books were okay, but most of my electronics look like they have been through a smoker and we lost a lot of artwork and plates and bullshit like that. Oh and the microwave melted.

It's more of a Salvidor Dali microwave now.