Sooooo guess how getting that second load of gravel turned out? Ha ha right. I know that many of you will not recall the FIRST time this happened, but lets just say it sucked ass and the driver had to call two separate people and get two separate pieces of equipment to pull him out and then he refused to take the driveway ever again.
And of course it was the same driver.
Because when you combine his shitty luck and my shitty luck terrible things happen.
Except this time we just pulled him out with the goddamned backhoe so he could totally pretend that he hadn't gotten stuck this time if he wanted to. Of course this was still happening back when the front bucket hoses were still shot so we had to move the gravel by hand for a bit like a peasant because, and I don't know if I have made this clear enough, we have to be able to get the septic guy down the road THIS YEAR or we are all fucked.
And I mean like, super duper fucked. Not just regular fucked.
Which was then that Scott revealed that he kinda thought this might happen because we hadn't packed the gravel down and I was all like you have to pack gravel down? And he was all like yes. And I was all like WHY DOES NO ONE TELL ME THESE THINGS!? And Scott was all like, large gravel was your idea and this is how you told me to fix this AND YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WE HAVE TO PACK IT DOWN!? And then I was all like, WE AREN'T COMBINING OUR POWERS WELL HERE!
And then I yelled WITH OUR POWERS COMBINED and thrust my hand into the sky just like motherfucking Capitan Planet and then Scott just looked at me like I was crazy and then I was all like, WITH THE POWER OF HEART and he just looked at me and I was like you never really had a childhood did you? And he was all like, lets just start shoveling gravel okay?
And then I vowed that one night after he went to bed I was going to sneak a Capitan Planet poster into his office.
Of course this would all be happening right after I did a monster job at work and my back was all like, really, you're kidding me with this? And I was all like, no. And then it shot shooting pains down one leg or the other until I was ready to kill it with fire because I am still pretending that I didn't injure any of the disks this spring even though it's getting really hard to lie to myself like that which is why I have been playing a lot of point and click adventure games in the evening.
After my back was all like, ha ha no I wasn't kidding and I had to sit down after every wheelbarrow load because exhaustion is a thing that can happen and it's a goddamned bitch we got the backhoe running and then we proceeded to kick some ass.
Moving gravel with the backhoe was like going at light speed after trying to get to the nearest star by paddling your arms. So we moved a crap ton of gravel around with the bucket, although it was kind of annoying because it kept shoving some of the gravel off the road so we had to rake it back on. Which was a motherfucking adventure. Remember how I told you that shoveling large gravel was a pain in the ass because trying to push your shovel into it was like hitting a wall made of large chunks of rock? Well the same thing happens when you rake it. So I would get the rake and try to pull the gravel towards me and it would roll maybe five pieces forward and then one of the hunks would wedge itself into the tines and I would have to beat the damn thing on the ground to knock it loose. While meanwhile Scott would have raked like ten feet of driveway and would be moving on to something else because he is the rake whisperer or someshit.
Large chunk gravel hates me, is what I am saying.
But in the end we got the gravel where it fucking needed to go and scraped the edges of the road, which are supposed to be LOWER then the road surface. And then we stood back to admire it and I resisted the urge to start singing the Captain Planet theme song.
It's a driveway again! Kinda. Mostly.
So in the end nature couldn't keep us down. Though we still need to add another ditch and put in a cement grate to funnel water off the road so that we can stop the water from using our tire tracks as a stream. But at least we got back on track, even if I had to do it by repairing the track by hand with a wheelbarrow and swearing a whole lot.
Captain Planet would be so proud.