Monday, August 12, 2013

Building the Solar Kiln.

So today in a fit of can do spirit we started on the solar kiln. Scott drew up two plans, and then we argued over the merits of each one and then we picked the one that looked the most complicated to build because of course we did. Then Scott went to town to pick up the plywood we would need and some cat food because there would be no way to build this without Tom Tom Tiger trying to sleep on it and then I took the dog for a walk and then Scott got back and then we got the plans and got started.

First we built the floor and then the floor support thingamajigs and then there was a whole lot of cutting old boards from the barn into the right thickness. Of course the plan mostly existed in Scott's head, with a token out of perspective drawing propped up on the front of the blazer that doesn't run right now because this is the country and we have to have at least one vehicle that doesn't work.

So for me I spent a lot of time measuring old barn boards and bringing them up and then we put things together that I had no idea what they were other then rectangles because Scott was the undisputed leader and I can tell you right now that is possible to mark, measure and screw together boards without the slightest idea what you are putting together.

Eventually though to begin to make sense.

The final structure will be a trapezoid, with one long angled wall that will lift up to allow us to load it with logs. Also there will need to some sort of rack or something that keeps the logs from touching because air flow or log cooties or some shit. I dunno this is Scott's brain child because my plan of coating the logs in preserver was a big fat fucking failure.

Whatever, I am over that now. Here have a picture:

So these will make a trapezoid. Somehow. Possibly with magic. And I am sure this will all make sense in the next post. Or maybe it won't and the whole thing will catch on fire and we will agree never to speak of this again. 


So we built the main walls and then realized that we were missing key bits like hinges and adhesive and the energy left to give a damn so we quit for the day and just hoped that we didn't have to go anywhere in a hurry because without really intending to we had blocked in our car with carpentry.

It happens.

Anyway now all that's left is to build the end pieces and the fiddly shit and then we, uh, do whatever else that needs to happen that I don't know about because this is all in Scott's brain and I can't read minds.

Well I can't really read minds. We have been married long enough I can kinda do it, but mostly I end up reading shit like “This person is weirding me out right now please save me or call my phone or text me or something” and “I hope that movie I bought is good and I am fantasizing about what I want it to be right now instead of what I am supposed to be doing” and “I think what you are doing is stupid but I don't want to hurt your feelings so I am going to try not to involve myself or say anything” and “I am thinking through this problem and the solution is evading me because it's a dick like that” and “I just woke up what are you talking about/what's going on/it's too early for information” and “wow I am like super bored right now” and “I'm hungry but I don't know what I want to eat -are you eating anything good right now? But I can't look too interested because then you will think I am judging you and you will think you are fat even though you are not fat because we just like shoveled a shit ton of gravel around.”

Unfortunately I can't read building plans out of his head. Or anybodies head. Or even if I could that would suck because it would be, like the worst kind of super power ever and I don't think that it would stop any crimes. I don't even think that I could use it to be a super villain because I am pretty sure that architecture spying isn't even a real thing. Even though I kinda wish it was because then The Fountainhead would have been like a million times better and probably contained less rape.

And also more super villains. Architecture super villains.

Also I forgot what we were talking about. Oh right the solar kiln. We are building one. And it's not even evil.

That I know of.

For all I know it could be plotting against us right now.

Probably not though.

I haven't detected that “I'm making this structure into a living embodiment of pure evil” vibe from Scott yet. Stick around though because we are not done and we might end up dousing this thing in holy water while yelling about the spirit of Christ.


It could happen.

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