Monday, November 14, 2011

The Walking Dead TV Show: A Review.

I know what you're thinking. In answer, no I still don't have TV, Scott purchased the the first season.

Now, I have a friend who talked very highly of the comic so when I saw Scott pop the DVD into the computer I sat down to watch it with him, because zombies. Eating people. What's not to love?

In a nutshell: It sucked.

Really. Read on to learn how badly.


Okay, I didn't bother to learn any of the characters names, so I will call the main character, Bad Decision Bob.

Bad Decision Bob, is a cop, who gets shot while responding to a your typical criminal shenanigans. He ends up in the hospital, where his partner, who I shall be referring to as Sensible Steve, comes to visit him.

Bad Decision Bob wakes up in the hospital, disoriented. He quickly realizes something is wrong, since there were more mangled corpses in the hallways then is normal for a hospital. Also, subtly, there is a massive double metal door that is chained closed with the words 'DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT OPENING THIS DOOR' written on it in what looks like blood. Also zombies are on the other side moaning, and reaching their hands though the crack.

What does Bad Decision Bob do?

If you answered 'he staggers out of the hospital in his underwear with out even so much as a god damned jacket' you'd be right.

Fast forward a bit and we learn that Sensible Steve has already organized a camp of survivors, saved Bad Decision Bob's wife (and by saved, I meant with his penis), and son, and is already making elaborate raids into the city for supplies.

At this point in the story Bad Decision Bob has obtained a horse, proceeded to ride it smack into the middle of Atlanta, and get it devoured by zombies. He flees the hoard and has to crawl under a tank for safety. Before blowing his own head off so as not to become undead, he has an epiphany and crawls up though the bottom hatch of the tank. Loosing all his guns, food, ammo, and clothing in the process.

If you had just escaped zombies, and had crawled into a tank, what would you do?

If you answered: 'try to start the tank” congratulations you are smarter then Bad Decision Bob.

At no point in this series did I want Bad Decision Bob to survive. His escapes became so improbable that I began to feel like the producers were just fucking with me. If you could have a training manual for how to survive the zombie apocalypse in the walking dead universe, it would just feature a picture of Bad Decision Bob with a red line though it and the words 'avoid at all costs.'

Bad Decision Bob makes decisions like acting sensibly murdered his parents.

I didn't not watch anymore beyond that episode, based on the fact the precious moments of my life were slipping away, and I was never going to get them back. Had I watched more, there is doubt in my mind that Sensible Steve was quietly rebuilding society, possibly using solar panels and lots of chain link fencing, while Bad Decision Bob was probably trying to figure out which way his pants went on.

Here's a hint buddy, the zipper goes in the front.

1 comment:

  1. I will say this about that...the graphic novel is better...but it does have its very...shall we say unbelievable moments. The first season I watched almost obsessively hoping, with each episode it would get better and characterization would happen. It did not. I gave the second season a few episodes hoping that it would get better. It did not. So I stopped watching. I still read the graphic novels, but I am not as excited about them anymore.

    On a side note...have you read World War Z? Because: Zombies done well! It is my favorite zombie novel.