I Just Murdered an Entire Civilization

I just murdered an entire civilization of ants. Big black ants that had decided to move into my kitchen and set up camp. So, I did what any self respecting person would do, I poisoned the shit out of everything. I set some bait traps up in the kitchen, and after waiting a few hours I sprayed the perimeter or my house mobile home with poison.

That seemed to do the trick.

Then I told my friend about my epic adventure battling the terrible ant hoards. It went something like this.

ME: Ah, nothing like spraying the house with deadly neurotoxin to get rid of that ant problem.

SUPER BEST FRIEND: Ah, nothing quite like drinking a beer and wiping out a whole society.

ME: Eh, they had it coming, I'm fairly certain they were Nazi ants.

SUPER BEST FRIEND: I'm sure they were. Why else would they being trying to take over your kitchen? First the kitchen, then the house, THEN THE WORLD!

ME: I'm fairly certain they said something about 'just wanting Poland.'

SUPER BEST FRIEND: Lol.

Yeah. So after the genocide I decided to get drunk because I had just rid of the world on ant Hitler. And also I realized everything in my body hurt from moving rocks.

There is nothing quite like getting drunk by yourself in a empty poison filled mobile home in the middle of nowhere*.

I think that was the most depressing sentence I have ever typed.

Yes. I think that was.

Damn.

Well then.

Fuck.

*Scott was away, but he's back now so don't think you can just come murder me.

Mold Is Trying To Murder Me.

I found in mold in both my closets. Leading me to a massive throwing out of stuff.

I have no idea what to do about that. Hardest hit were all the things I can't just throw in the washer, like my wedding dress, and Halloween costumes, and my art portfolio.

I don't really know how to fix this problem. I'm going to move some stuff over to the other mobile home, but I know that has had mold problems in the past too. The only thing I can think to do is put everything into plastic bins in the new trailer make sure that there is a good gap between the bins and the walls in order to maintain air flow. Air out the clothes in the cold winter air, and then use a good home dry cleaning kit.

This winter has been unusually warm and wet, and I think that was the problem. We would normally be running the wood stove by now, and the hot dry air would kill off the mold, but this year, it's been so warm we have hardly even needed the oil furnace.

So here we are.

I want to start taking stuff over and organizing it, but the problem is that in order to put things into the new closet, I have to take a whole bunch of crap out of the new closet. You know, the crap I was planning on storing in this mobile home. That I can't move over here until I've removed things like, you know, my desk. It's a closed loop system here people.

Also, I'm not sure how crazy I should be getting with this? Should I bleach every container before taking it over? As far as I know these mold spores are everywhere anyways, that's why shit in the fridge will mold when it goes bad. Should I bleach everything? The Internet makes it sound like this is some sort of mold apocalypse where I have to put up plastic sheeting and wear a respirator and drown things in a mountain of bleach and sprinkle baking soda everywhere and then vacuum like there is no god damned tomorrow and possibly burn the vacuum afterwards.

Scott's solution was to make me fudge, possibly to make up for he fact that he had no idea what to do, and also that none of his things got destroyed. Mmmm fudge. Fudge makes everything better.

I guess my day is going to be comprised of washing things and eating fudge and bleaching stuff.

Fun. Fuck. Fudge?