Wednesday, March 27, 2013

We Fixed the Washer. Twice.

Twice. Okay. Here is how it went down. First off we didn't get the part, until oh about 5pm. So we had to do that thing where you panic and run around and gather tools because winter means the sun sets earlier then 9pm and it was going to snow overnight because of course it was. Because of course we have to pull the machine out onto the deck to drain it.

So we got the handcart and then we discovered that even with the clothes removed, the washer weighed a fuck ton because apparently water is heavy as shit. Anyway, we managed to wrestled the damn thing onto the deck and then let it's smelly ass water drain out under the deck like god intended.

Then we just had to fix it.

The first time we did this, there was a general air of can do spirit. We were pumped and ready for action. We were excited to see if we really could pull this off. Video's were watched, tools were assembled, high fives were given.

This attempt, none of those things happened.

We tore that washer apart and cursed and huffed and had to get flash lights and tools and then it started to rain freezing rain, and Scott's knee kept hurting him and we both fought about shit and how none of the sockets were the right socket until I fantasized about dragging the washer off into the woods and shooting it.

It might have been the merciful thing to do.

So anyway, we got the damn thing back together and fought it back inside the house, and turned it on. Just like the first time we replaced the direct drive coupler, everything went smoothly. Once again my house was filled with the smooth gentle chugging of a contented washing machine.

That is, until we got to spin cycle.

Spin cycle sounded like the washer was filled with all the demons from hell that ever were ever. You know, like they were all knocking to escape and squealing and grinding. Those demons. Grinding demons. At this point Scott decided to see if the washer was level. Which of course it wasn't because that would have made sense. It was, really, phenomenally not level. By like, a whole lot. So in our second washer based trust exercise, Scott lifted up the machine and I adjusted the front feet until they were level. I will mercifully leave out the part where we first attempted to shove card board under the feet like morons, until we realized the feet adjusted. Because clearly we know washers like, whoa.


Anywho, We turned it on again and of course that helped, but it did not completely remove the demons fix the problem. So I turned, yet again to the Internet. After spending what felt like the better part of the day asking inane questions like, 'does the drum stop when you open the lid in spin cycle?' I came up with an answer. The springs were bad. So in a fit of extravagance I ordered more springs and had them overnighted to my house. Which when you are poor, overnighting something is a big deal. Like a really big deal.

Really. Like I was chatting with my friend while doing this and had to keep asking her if overnight really meant overnight and she had to keep reassuring me that yes, yes it does, and I had to keep freaking out because what witchcraft is this? Parcels, that arrive the next day!? Truly THIS IS THE FUTURE.

And like the fucking rich people magic it was, when I got home from work the next day, lo there was the part in it's neat little bag. So the next morning we got our loins girded and took apart the washer in the heated hallway of not being outside and begun. And by begun I mean we took the washer front off and then couldn't find a spot for it and then we stuck it in the hallway and then I got stuck on the wrong side of it so I basically watched Scott take all the springs off while complaining that it was unpleasant. Then we discovered that part of the spinning noise was coming from the drum bumping a plastic piece on the inside and that it was in fact, not going to come flying apart during spin cycle. So there was that. So we shoved the damn thing back together and turned it on. It appeared to work. We put clothes in it. It appeared to work. We marveled at how quiet the spin cycle was now.

Until it got to high spin.

There is no good way to describe high spin. You know how the Large Hadron Collider was supposed to have destroyed the world? And then it didn't? Well this is what it would have sounded like if it did.* So I am still getting a lot of drum movement and shift, accompanied by the same squeaking sound that preluded it's death the last time. But only on high spin.
Sooooo I am just not using high spin.

You know, it might just be time to replace the washer. Or maybe the drum pads. Or maybe I don't give a fuck anymore because I am wearing clean pants.

Yeah, we'll go with that last one.

*This is a lie. A funny, funny lie.


  1. I know nothing about washers, so I have no bits of useless wisdom to share with you.

    It's probably a good idea to avoid the high spin cycle though. Kind of like trying to get around town in your truck, by making only left hand turns because the right blinker is busted. :)

  2. I thought "high spin" was supposed to make you squeal?

  3. The wonderfulness of having clean pants is always underrated - until the wash machine dies.

  4. psst. high spin. who needs it. (seriously though, if your washer still gets shit clean without it)

  5. I'd like to think I'm quite handy but the moment the washer has a problem I'm screwed. I know absolutely nothing about washers or dryers.

    "Hmmm, the... 'rinse cycle.' I don't need that cycle, do I? Is that one important?"

  6. clean pants = total and complete victory. Do not for one instant think otherwise!