So a while ago I got the idea to send
my friend a letter detailing my (fake) adventures in some place
called the Morrow Jungle. I wrote the letter late one night, sat back
and thought hey, that's pretty good. Of course most people would have
stopped there. Or maybe sent the letter via email or posted it to
their blogs with a brief explanation.
I am not most people.
This is the letter my friend received.
It reads:
Dearest Lorien,
I am writing to inform you of my safe
arrival in the Morrow Jungle. We had set down about a week ago, but
this is my first chance of finding a place to post a letter. The
locals assure me that this letter will indeed reach you. I hope you
are well and that the weather back home is much better then this
terrible tropical heat.
So far I have only had one encounter
with the dreaded Peruvian Fire Weasels. Luckily most of our tents and
equipment were spared, with only one porter suffering serious burns.
I was able to save most of my notes as well. I have enclosed a
drawing of the Lesser Fire Weasel for your consideration. Less
fortunate was our encounter with the Giant Vampire Mosquitoes. I had
been assured that the clubs the men brought along were sufficient to
destroy the insecticidal menace, but sadly they fell regrettably
short in that regard. However, do not fear for my safety or comfort,
I have found through a delightful local shaman that the sap from the
Morrow tree, yes indeed, the very tree from with this jungle was
named, has a marvelous effect on the bites.
Professor Wirthington had
ventured a guess that the sap must contain some sort of morphine or
codeine. He has cautioned us to use the sap in moderation only, and
to maintain records of it's use on ourselves for future study and
reference. Nevertheless, I am not worried about overuse, as I am
presently not worried about much of anything. I am hoping to bottle
some of this wonderful substance to take back -purely in the name of
science.
I am afraid that I cannot
say more at this juncture as night is falling and a think that I will
soon not have light enough to see by. In the morning I will venture
further downriver in my search for the Pip Piper Vulture and the
elusive Singing Waddle Bird of Paradise.
Yours forever, your
esteemed friend,
Holly.
This letter was
accompanied by these.
I am going to assume that
stunned silence is due to awe. Yes, I spent all this time dying the
paper, doing the drawings, scanning it in, finding a font and
printing it out and mailing to my friend for no real reason at all
other then I thought it was fucking funny.
It's possible I might a
little crazy.
A little awesome
crazy.
That IS awesome crazy. Now, where can I get some of that tree sap?
ReplyDeleteThe Morrow Jungle of course. But I'd take a plane in, the steamboat takes too long and they keep charging you extra fees if they think you have money.
Deletehaha awesome.
ReplyDelete