Monday, October 1, 2012

The Rental Car is too Good for us.

In their infinite wisdom, the rental agency saw fit to outfit us with what I consider to be a luxury model car. It has a motorized seat adjuster on the drivers side, heated seats, satellite radio, and best of all, the air conditioning works. I can make the internal temperature of the car anything that I want. For this brief moment in time I can experience physical comfort that has nothing to do with the outside temperature!

I can finally show up to work without my hair looking like it had been through a motherfucking wind tunnel.

Except I know it's all too good to last. I know at some point they will fix our car and I will have to go back.

I will have to go back.

I will have to go back to a world where the AC doesn't work and I don't really have enough leg room and I will no longer be able to fit all my travel shit into the truck because my real car is tiny, and the breaks don't immediately break when you step on the break, and it won't tell me what show I am listing to on the radio in neat little green letters.

I was never meant to see this world.

There's something about being poor, okay? Like you feel happy just to have two vehicles that run because you personally know people that are still playing the our only car is in the shop and there are two adults in our household that have to work WTF do we do now game and you feel like you have won some sort of multicar in game trophy and that you are totally winning at life.

And then you see how the other half lives.

And it's not only better, but it's fucktastically a lot better. Better then you had ever dreamed it could be better. It's like most of you are never going to have caviar or 200 year old wine, or a 100$ a plate dinner. Which is fine, because it is hard to miss things you have never personally experienced in any way. Except I think you can buy caviar at Walmart now so maybe that was a bad comparison.


You know how all those rich guys that lost all there money threw themselves off bridges and shit. Yeah, I think I dimly understand that now.

What was really depressing was when I sat down and realized that this car costs more them I make in a year and quite near what we both make in a year not counting things like paying for repairs when it breaks or putting gas and oil in the fucker.

Have you ever had a moment where you suddenly felt very, very poor? Like Fuck my 29 acres and my backhoe and the fact that I can pay for my hobbies most of the time, now I feel poor because I can't afford the insanely expensive car the rental agency gave us because our insurance is paying for it?

You know what, sometimes I think the rental agency is just fucking with us. Here take this one, it will destroy your happiness and world view, bring it back with gas in it!

Asshole motherfuckers.

Asshole. Motherfuckers.


  1. I am SO behind on blogs that I am reading backwards to find out what happened.

    I will need a new car soon. My car...aside from the "held together by all the dirt and bird poop" thing, has a front passenger door that won't open, a temperamental AC/heating system, and is currently making noises that make me think it will take off like a helicopter some day soon. I've been pricing cars, and think I will finally try to purchase one *before* it has 80,000 miles on it!

    ...after I get a job.

  2. Yeah, I'm with you.

    My car is fourteen years old, looks like crap, and shakes when I go over 40mph. On the other hand, I haven't had a car payment in a decade. I'd love a nice vehicle, but not the monthly nice car payment that goes along with it.