Thursday, July 26, 2012

Tearing down the old bunny shed (with smashing.)

So today we tore down the old bunny barn. Seeing as how they don't need it anymore. Plus it was kinda sitting where we want to put that house.

First thing this morning, and by first thing I mean after I had fed everybody and Scott started the laundry and I cleaned out the peep cages and did internet things and ate breakfast, we tore down the old bunny barn.

There was of course the obligatory beating on the damn thing with sledge hammers bit. Followed by the getting myself angry at the whole world bit.

Okay it went down like this. Scott and me got on opposing walls and standing outside the structure started wailing on the support boards. I took a shitty swing and saw it barely dent the wood. So I fixed my stance and swung again and again. And shit all nothing happened. Meanwhile I could here Scott on the other side smashing and thrunching his way through the other side like this was easy. So, I stared at that asshole board. I took a breath. A warm humid wind blew past me, ruffling my shirt and hat.

I call it PMS anger. It has no reason. It has no logic. It is pure. It simply is.

I gathered it to me like a shield. I took every single thing that had ever pissed me off and pushed it down into a little ball of rage. And then I swung.

Then the whole fucking building fell down.

I am not fucking kidding.

I hit that board so fucking hard it splintered into a million pieces and apparently that was the only thing holding that fucker up.

I would like to say that I held that sledge hammer in one hand and stood valiantly with my chest puffed out like Captain Motherfucking America while the building collapsed before me, possibly in front of a sunset and with everyone who had ever said anything mean to me watching in the back ground in awed silence.

What really happened was that I heard a second loud crack after hitting the board and the whole fucking structure kind shivered a bit and then started falling and I ran for it amid the sounds of tearing and smashing. But if anybody ever makes a movie about my life we will just assume that the Captain America version is how it went down.*

After that we decided to bring in King, the best backhoe in the whole wide world, to tear the rest of it apart.

And tear he did.

King took what would have been two days worth of work in less then an hour. He tore that fucker apart like it was made out of those flimsy shitty toothpicks that suck. You know that scene from Jurassic park where the T rex pushes the car up on two wheels with his head while he's trying to figure out why this thing he just killed tastes like ass?

Yeah. King totally did that, except replace 'car' with 'shed' and 'T rex' with 'backhoe.'

King wrecked that shit like it was a shit wrecking party. He tore and smashed and stabbed and crushed and pummeled that building out of existence.

And it was awesome.

It was awesome.

* If anyone ever asks, you were totally there and it was super sweet.


  1. You got it! The most epic thing I have ever seen!

    thrunching? I have to do more thrunching!

  2. Can't get the "Hulk Smash" similarities out of my brain after reading this!

  3. I WAS totally there, and it WAS super sweet. I just regret that I didn't get to have my picture taken with King.

    "Queen Holly the Magnificent and her sidekick King"