Saturday, September 15, 2012

Dear Wasps and Bees

Dear Wasps and Bees,

It has come to my attention that you have recently taken up residence on the side of my mobile home. This is a problem as I am already living here. It should be noted that squatters rights, if there ever was such a dubious thing as that anyway, do not allow you to remain here while we are currently occupying this home.

I understand why you did it. This structure maintains a constant temperature, you are sheltered from the the wind and rain and you get the midday sun. I understand that some days the massive vibration of the hives wings are just not enough to insure proper temperature regulation, and that the heat bleed from my poorly insulated siding is a boon to you. I know the comfort that stems from not having heavy drops of rain pummeling ones roof at night, and I thoroughly understand not wanting to have water coming in every time it rains. I'm also sure that you saved a lot of money on building too, as the outer walls could be a lot thinner then what was to code seeing as though you are using my siding overlap as your new abode.

However, this cannot be allowed to continue. I have provided plenty of standing dead trees on my 29 acres and I believe that any of these trees would be more then suitable. I am providing this notice now as a courtesy to you so that you can move your home and loved one's before the icy depth of winter is upon us.

I am afraid that if your behavior continues I will be forced to take drastic action in form of certain deadly sprays that I have in my possession. I do not want it come to this, but unless I see some attempt to vacate your current residence within the next forty eight hours since the time of this posting I am afraid I will be forced to act.

With my sincerest regards,

Queen Holly the Magnificent.



Do you think they will get the message?

No?

Me neither.

But it was worth a shot.

2 comments:

  1. Bummer, I hope they take the eviction notice well!

    ReplyDelete
  2. ...but what an awesome letter!

    ReplyDelete