Wednesday, September 5, 2012

The Car has been Smashed.

So. Scott got into a fender bender. One of those blind corner oh-god-why-is-someone-stopped-around-a-blind-motherfucking-corner-incidents. No one was hurt, but the front of our car looked like someone had crumbled it up like an old paper towel because that's what happens when they make cars out of plastic.

Of course this would happen during the same week that we have a whole bunch of jobs lined up that involve driving across several states and we cannot possible miss because we need money.

Ha ha! Isn't life fun?

I was blissfully unaware that anything had happened until Scott called me and asked if I had called anybody to give him a ride yet. I said WTF are you talking about? It turns out that not only did my phone fail to record the voice mail he had left me, it didn't even ring. There was no record on my phone that he had called me at all. Which really makes me feel good about my chances of anyone getting hold of me in an emergency.

You know what? Fuck you AT&T. Fuck you in your stupid fucking face.


Of course the reason I was at home and not with Scott at the time was that my body was pitching a fit about something I ate (I'm looking in your direction lasagna) and I was in full blown evacuation mode. So it pretty much felt like someone was Roto Rootering my intestines. So I had to call people and then play the I-know-they-will-call-me-back-while-I-am-trapped-on-the-crapper game. It is not a fun game.

Oh and while I was on the phone the dog snuck into my office and threw up down the vent.


So it looks like we will be traveling around in a rental car for a week until the garage can fix our car. Ha ha ha haaaaaa! Fun! Oh joy and wonder!


Sooo, does anybody know how to remove vehicle related curses? Like, anybody? Is their a pilgrimage I can go on? Should I burn some maps or something? Will priests even sprinkle cars with holy water?

For the love of all that's good and holy, these things can stop happening anytime now.


Anytime now.


  1. Oh dear! your not having too much luck these days. I'm sure there's a ton of brilliantly wonderful things right around the corner waiting to happen to you guys. Except it's a blind corner so keep on the look out. :)

  2. ugggh, people who park out of sight around blind corners are ASSHOLES. I feel your pain- lots of people on our street like to do this all the time, and I get (unreasonably?) angry every time there's a vehicle parked in that spot. Sometimes I seriously want to smash our jeep into their parked cars because our jeep is shitty and I don't care about it.

    also sorry about the vent vom. that is not good times.

  3. I think I have found my new favorite motherfucking blog.

  4. Good LORD you deserve a break. I wish I could send you a kit kat. Or like... a thousand kit kats. Or... a new car.

  5. I think the way to remove the curse is to never drive anywhere. Or buy such an old piece of junk that even the universe doesn't want it back.