So you all remember my various subtle hints that getting the septic system in place this year was the most important thing ever in the history of ever? You know that if we didn't get it installed that the permit would run out and we would have to reapply and that there is a new law going into effect in 2014 that would make the your-place-is-super-wet-so-you-need-a-class-two-system-but-we-don't-want-to-give-you-a-permit-because-with-that-many-acres-you-should-be-able-to-put-in-a-drain-field saga that involved two separate people spending like an hour on the phone with the state fiasco look like fucking child's play.
So we called the septic guys. And then we called them again. And then we called them again. And by 'we' I mean 'Scott.' And then my stress levels shot up to 100 and things started to hurt when I ate them and then the motherfucking septic people called us back and told us they would be out next week. However they also told us that we needed to have a permanent power drop for them and that temporary power wasn't going to work.
So what followed was Scott going out and buying a book about not fucking the ever loving shit out of residential power. Then we went to the local electrical stuff store, got a lot of advice from a guy named Arnold or Alex or Adam or fuck it I can't remember and then I spent like 200$ on stuff that I had no idea what it did and then I fantasized about when I used to be able to buy fruit and not have scurvy, and then we got in the truck and drove home.
And by drove home I mean that we made it halfway up the mountain before a piece of the damn conduit blew out the back and I had to chase it down and shove it back in the truck before I got ran over by a coal truck or someshit and then we went home and I curled up in the fetal position and played Skyrim until the world seemed like a better place.
Cause you know, dragons and thieves and stabbing and shit totally make the world a better place. Oh and fire hands. Can't forget those fire hands.
So then we get it all home and Scott does things I don't understand while I stack firewood because of course I would be ordering and stacking firewood during all this, and then Scott confesses that he doesn't understand how the grounds are supposed to work and that this is nothing that he really understands and that he is going to have to call someone to fix it up for him and I said okay whatever you need while I mentally saw the new water heater I needed to buy flying away on adorable little feathered wings.
I mean, like, I am sure that having hot water is optional right? I mean it's not like I have to bathe every day. Or do the dishes. Or wash clothes. Nope. Not me. That never happens.
Anywho, Scott calls the electric guy he picked out and the electric guy is all like, I can't come today, I have a major job, and I am kinda backed up, but I might be able to do tomorrow but it will be like early and then Scott was all like okay.
So then they show up and reveal that they have like, 50 fucking people who need work done and the only reason they were able to get us in was that they had a meeting to go to and we were along the way.
And then I felt really lucky and also a little bit like an asshole but whatever those other people who are not me are just going to have to suck it. And then we made conversation for a bit and then I had to go do morning things like eating food and putting medication in my cats eyeballs and then they finished and left and then I went over to admire our new electrical box thing. And then that's when Scott said that they had hooked him up with all the numbers to call for the inspection and also that actually getting the power hooked up might be a motherfucking adventure.
And also that the power company should have given us a free box which they totally did not do and now I hate there fucking guts but unfortunately I still need there asses.
And then it turned out that we hit another piece of luck in that the inspector lived like twenty minutes away, so he came that evening and passed us with flying colors and then we did a happy dance and I paid the guy like 70$ and this morning I got the bill for the electric guy and it was like 500$ and then I decided that it's a good thing I have like a job and stuff.
Even if it means I'm going to be living off toast, eggs, spaghetti, powered lemonade and tea for the foreseeable future.
There are worse things.
Things like not having a house.
Or a place to poop that is inside said house.