Tuesday, October 22, 2013

So the Furnace Broke. Again.

So a few days ago I awoke to the special joy of it being the same temperature outside as it was inside. Which was cold. Because of course the fuel oil furnace had refused to turn on. Which was super great for my stress levels. I mean it's totally not like our 40 to 30 degree weather has me burning firewood that I had set aside for the dark cold depths of winter and also the wood stove cranks the inside temperature into the Sahara or anything.

I mean, it's not like we already paid someone to come out and fix it once.

Ha ha hah no. Fuck.

So I awoke to the super balls cold of 47 degrees and put on thermals and made a fire and then played an extra special round of what is wrong with the furnace this time. Of course when hitting the reset button failed to produce an furnace operating epiphany, we fell back on the old standby of poking it a few times and then went to find the list of things the old dude who had come to fix it said we might have to replace at some point.

Because we were now at “some point.”

Unfortunately because of our work schedules we could not make it to the store during the hours it was actually open because I only know of one store that even sells fuel oil furnace parts and it is a locally run store that isn't open on Sunday and past five. Which was also unfortunate because my body picked that night to become hellishly sick and I spent a good chunk of time huddled on the bathroom floor at 47 degrees.

Which was, if you are wondering, the exact opposite of fun.

It was also the exact opposite of fixing that furnace.

It also meant that I had to miss work. Which pissed me the shit off because unless I am actively dying to the point that Jesus is coming for me and I can see the light of heaven I usually go to work. Because money.

So after wandering around the ice cold motherfucking mobile home I decided to make a fire and crank the stove up to like eighty because my skin hurt too much for me to just put on a goddamn sweater and then I tried not to think about how cold it was going to get overnight because there was no way in hell I was going to get up at 2am and put more wood in the stove.

So I spent another freezing ass night where I realized that the dog is only capable of heating my torso even if I put him under the blankets with me and then my legs felt like stiff pieces of wire and like they were trying to get a divorce from my torso and then Scott came home and we went to buy more furnace parts.

Of course we were going to take pictures of the parts with our phones because planning and then we didn't because bad planning and in the end we just bought what the sales guy said would fit our stove based on our loose description of what we had.

It's how we roll.

Which was when we learned that a new CAD Cell Eye, you know the bit that regulates the fire and whatnot is like 8 bucks and a new door switch is like, 19 because the door switch is made out of unicorn horn or someshit. So we were just like whatever we need this to work and then we get home and of course it isn't the right CAD Cell thing because ha ha fuck you Holly and your shit dreams.

So now we are going out to buy the other CAD Cell Eye thingadoozer and then try to install it and then if that doesn't work I am building a blanket fort in my office and living in it with the dog until spring.

You know like a mature adult would do.


I guess Scott can come too.


  1. You were sick again?!? And the furnace broke, AGAIN?!?

    I am thinking good thoughts and sending them your way. Unfortunately I'm pretty bad with directions, so let's hope they make it to you.

    1. They need to take a left at "terrible luck" and a right onto "it's really cold in my house right now."

  2. Al Gore wants you to know that in no time at all, Global Warming will take care of your problem.

  3. Oh Holly. You should write a memoir. Seriously.

    I have a terrible feeling this will be me in about 3 months time when it's -40 (yes, that's F cause I know C & F are the same at -40). Our furnace is 32 yrs old and it died twice before but my Dad worked his Jesus magic and resurrected it (thankfully, both times, it was only -10 C). But now he lives in California in the winter and LAUGHS at me.

    Sending you warm, fixed furnace thoughts and no more crap until 2017.

  4. Oh God, I've been there. It was 20 degrees in the house. All standing water was frozen, and we were too stubborn/stupid/cheap to get a hotel room for the weekend. So we put up our tent in the living room and brought the space heater into it. I'm still not sure why we didn't die. I am sure it was a good idea to get the hell out of Michigan.

    1. Sweet Jesus. Too bad you couldn't put a wood stove in your apartment.

  5. Maybe your broken furnace can come over and play with my broken dishwasher..

  6. The fact that your furnace broke again is getting really disturbing. Hopefully it’s not a lemon. I hope you got it fixed with the second time. Furnaces are really important, especially during winter when it could literally mean your hope between life and death. Or maybe you can look into replacing it. I mean, I know it costs a little over than having it repaired, but it’s a good investment.

    Eric Powell

  7. Hey, don't fret! This can also mean opportunity, as it allows you to look at possibilities again, for both repair as well as improvement.

    Quality Heating

  8. Well, that is a real bother. I guess the standard thing to do is to get a plumber to delve further into the roots of that mishap, to see if it can still be repaired or you'd have buy yourself a new one. Hope that particular situation has improved now, and you get the kind of appliance that you need.

    Levi @ Capital Plumbing

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