Saturday, October 26, 2013

We Fixed the Furnace. Again.

So the next day we got back up determined to get the correct part from the hardware store that is not conveniently located and try to fix the motherfucking fuel oil furnace before we froze to death or the cold demon got us or something. So after doing the morning chores and a good hunk of the afternoon chores we got in the car and sped off to the store where we found the correct CAD eye cell dealy bober and then we somehow ended up in a Walmart because they have mind control rays or something. Oh and I needed muffins. When I have stomach problems I eat muffins. That's just how I roll.

Anyway we got back to the house and then faced the super not fun at all task of installing the damn thing. The CAD Cell eye dohicky went in fairly well, because all we had to do was pull the old one out and snap the new one in.

And by “we” I meant “Scott.”

And then he also did a bunch of stuff with the wiring on it I did not understand and then he moved on to the damn door latch because this is replace all the parts day on this farm. So then he poked it and I asked if he needed a hand and then he said no and then he was all like wait can you get me my Leatherman so I did and then he does some other shit and then he says he doesn't need me. Then the next thing I hear is “I hope I don't get shocked.” Followed immediately by “OW FUCK!”

Which is really the last thing you want to hear at that point.

And then I reappeared at the end of the hallway and was all like “What the hell happened?”

And Scott was all waving his arm around like a Wacky Waving Inflatable Tube Man and he was all like “I just got shocked what the hell do you think just happened?!”

And then I'm all “Why didn't you just turn the damn breaker off?”

And then he was all like “I didn't know which breaker it was.”

An then I was all “why don't we test the damn breakers because I am like standing right here?”

An he was like, “okay.”

So then we went and I turned the damn breaker off and he put in the switch without getting electrocuted and then I went to make a cup of tea and I came back to him sitting on the floor in front of the furnace staring into it's depths with his tools all around him and then he tells me it isn't working.

And then I am all like “why don't you shut the door?”

And then he is all like,” well that would make sense since I just replaced the damn door latch.”

And then he shut the door and the fucking furnace came on and now the house is approaching livable instead of witches titty. And nobody died. That's the most important part. The lack of death. By electrocution.

Of course now I have to go take off the super fleece thermals I put on because it being like 50 degrees inside all day while I was feeling like ass was super not making me happy at all ever so I put on all the layers ever until I felt like a fat starfish but now I am like way, way too hot.

Which is fantastic really.

So if you excuse me I am going to celebrate my new found heat by going down to one layer and eating some crackers.

You know, being my usual wild off the hook self.

It's gonna be a party.

A heat and cracker party.


  1. Ain't no party like a heat and cracker party! Congrats on a working furnace.

  2. I just read your last 3 posts in succession from oldest to newest, I think I like it better when I put the drinking one after the furnace adventure. Glad you're finally thawing out! :)

  3. It really is a pain whenever you have to go and fix the furnace again. More so when they break down in the most inopportune of times. But it is a necessity to do so, as you do owe yourselves a bit of comfort from when it gets too cold. You can switch into a new oil furnace, though. That remains an option.

    Randall Rogers @ R.J. Mechanical