Friday, March 16, 2012

Backhoes are Awesome.

We have decided to name our backhoe King.

We used King to remove some fence posts from along the drive way. The non-backhoe method involves using a chain and large jack, You wrap the chain around the fence post and hook it over the end on the jack. The you heave and curse trying to jack it out of the earth. This usually takes two people because the jack will want to keel over sideways at the first sign of a struggle.

The backhoe method of fence post removal is as follows. Wrap chain around fence post, loop other end around the hook on the bucket and take the bucket up.

Having a back hoe is like going from a level 2 to a level 50 overnight.

We also used King to dig a drainage ditch next to the driveway that eats vehicles. Having dug lots and lots of things by hand , and knowing how much that sucks ass, I was overjoyed to see king dig this one. Now granted we did have to go it and scoop out some loose dirt and shape the sides by hand, but it was super easy. King was all like, oh you want a ditch well here you go SHABAM!

I think I fell in love just then.

After a while it was a lot like working with a large benevolent dinosaur instead of a huge metal machine. I had to only gesture before King would lower his magnificent claw arm and rip out huge chunks of earth for me. At the merest gesture he would rip out saplings and rip up enormous rocks. It was like every thing I had ever wanted out of a imaginary best friend when I was a kid come to life.* My new best friend can rip up motherfucking trees. Do you know how awesome that is? Can you contemplate the awesomeness of this thing? ARE YOU CONTEMPLATING IT!?


So now when ever I watch Where the Wild Things Are and there is that scene where all the Wild Things are chanting King! King! King! I am going to assume they are talking about my backhoe. Which is really the only redeeming feature in that entire shit fest of a movie.

Seriously that movie sucked.


Don't watch it unless you are thinking about my backhoe, okay?

* Imaginary best friend operator sold separately. Seriously though Scott ROCKS at driving that thing.


  1. Damn, he sounds like so much fun! I want to come play too! You must feel King's power spreading through you as you direct his actions... I'm feeling it... I'm feeling it! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh........ too good.........

    Hey, maybe you could post a little video of you and King at work!

  2. I've actually never seen that movie. Loved the book as a kid, though.

    "...going from a level 2 to a level 50 overnight" = AWESOME ANALOGY! It occurs to me that you are probably comparing it to videogaming, but my first impulse was D&D-related, like your power level or strength level or magic level went from a 2 to 50. That would be amazing.

    and I love your love affair with your back-hoe.