So my kitchen might explode because the stove has been leaking gas. And we had been ignoring it. Why? Why do I freak out when I leave battery chargers plugged in over night because the manual said that might cause fire and then pretend I don't notice a gas leak? I have no fucking idea. Presumably because I'm an idiot.
We finally broke down and admitted there was a problem when it took two hours to make dinner last night because the oven is only working on one side.
At this point we did what any self respecting couple would do. Argued about which specific part on the stove was broken. (Hint: it's not the part that would be easy to get to.) The other thing we discovered was that the part can only be bought at a dealership by a certified technician. Presumably because Whirlpool is a goddamned dick. Or maybe they don't want your average cheap ass moron to blow themselves up trying to fix their stoves. They would much rather the average cheap ass moron make a crater the size of a semi by trying to fabricate the part in their garage and installing it with drywall screws. Both scenarios end in death, but if you look closely, only one ends with it being Whirlpools fault.
So we called a repairman.
Oh, I'm sorry, I should say we tried to call a repairman. But he didn't pick up his phone. And their was no answering machine. And all the other repair places are rather far away.
I think we are going to die.
Now I don't have a working stove anymore and I am suddenly back at collage when I cooked all of my food using the microwave. Right. So apparently I am team microwave now.
Okay so maybe we were nursing that stove along anyway. Maybe it had an annoying habit of filling the room with gas because it was too easy to bump the knobs on the front to SUPER ON. And maybe you had to light the burners by hand because the whatever-the-fuck-part was broken. And maybe it was too old to have like, you know, a timer or anything on it. And maybe it's time to buy a new stove.
Motherfuckers.
Looks like it's baked potatoes from the microwave tonight! Aannndd every other night for now into the foreseeable future.
Fuck.
Wouldn't it be awesome if KING could cook?
ReplyDeleteSweet.
I'm envisioning it now.
...you could also eat out for the foreseeable future...
There is literally no place that will deliver to our house. And town is not very close. Yeah. I thought of it. It's probably just as well, I have been living off sandwiches anyway. Since King was an expensive toy. I just wish the repair guy would pick up his damn phone...
ReplyDeleteWow... I do hope you get the leak fixed though! Or I hope there's a valve that you can close on the outside of your home.
ReplyDeleteAs to meals... there have been times when I've had to rely on an electric water boiler as my only means of cooking - so with a microwave you're still pretty well off!