Monday, March 5, 2012

I Just Bought A Backhoe

I just bought a backhoe. No really.

A sexy backhoe.

It was just delivered today.

So I spent most of my morning running around and flailing and yelling backhoe! Backhoe! BACKHOE! Like a totally mature adult would do. I also high fived the dog and told the delivery guy that this day was the happiest day of my life and that 'this is better then my wedding day.' And then Scott glared at me but it didn't matter because we have a goddamned backhoe and no one can take that away from me.

Now for someone who feels terrible about spending 75 bucks on an oil painting buying something that was nearing the 18 grand mark sent me into some sort of haunted money trance.

After spending almost half a year lurking on heavy equipment forums, driving around to look at backhoes, talking to backhoe owners, and complaining about our chronic lack of backhoe Scott found a backhoe on Craigslist. It was perfect. Four wheel drive (a must have) the right brand, priced right. It was in PA, but we said what the hell we'll go have a look.

Except it was snowing sideways that day with 50 mph winds.

It was an adventure. We drove to PA in the middle of a blizzard in our Oldsmobile Cutlass. At times the snow drifts were so deep that we almost slid into the ditch, other times the wind would whip up little snow devils and blind us completely. We ended up passing the street and had to double back for it, which meant that we had to play a mandatory game of find-a-place-to-turn-around-in-the-middle-of-nowheres-fucking-ville Blizzard addition.

We ended up buying it.

Now we didn't buy it just then, there was the sleeping on it* and getting the money from the bank and the obligatory freaking out. Spending this amount of money on something I go through the seven stages of grief. They are as follows.

“There is no way we are going to do this.”
“Maybe we can haggle the price lower”
“If life were fair we would already have a backhoe by now.”
“Do you think we could just steal a backhoe?”
“Oh god, what have I done. That was a shit ton of money right there.”
Have you ever just opened your bank account and just looked at it?

“Backhoes are so fucking awesome.”

They are indeed. So. Fucking. Awesome. Now if you excuse me I need to go dig holes in the yard for no reason other then I mothering fucking can.


* I don't mean that we were literally sleeping on the backhoe during a snowstorm. Just thought I should clear that up. In case you were wondering.


  1. Backhoe! I want to say it too ;-)...

    You know, I read an article a few weeks ago about this guy in Las Vegas.

    With the economy being such as it's been - people have stopped building quite so many casinos... so this guy bought a big plot of land right next to the dazzling hotels - and a bunch of heavy equipment... and he lets all the adults come and play with them for an hourly fee.

    They say it's a lot of fun - just this big space where they can dig holes and push dirt around. I thought it was a very clever idea!

  2. That is so awesome! I can't believe you bought a backhoe - instead of renting for specific projects. But then again, I didn't inherit a vast farm in the hills of WV, which may necessitate frequent usage of a backhoe.

    I am so jealous. not that I have any use for a backhoe, but because it is an awesome and unique thing to own. Rock on!