Friday, June 29, 2012

Rabbit Hutches Day 2 The Regrets.

Today. Oh today. Today beat me up and wore me out and pushed me onto the floor. Or possibly down some steps. Metaphorical steps.

The day started, as all my days start by rolling out of bed and feeding all of the ungrateful hungry mouths. After staggering back into the house I found I had a few moments of free time before we were to began working owing to the fact I woke up early this morning.

Feeling at peace with the world, I noticed my dog laying on floor telling me what a good girl she had been with her eyes. I knelt down to pet her and she smiled, rolling over on her back so that I could scratch her tummy.

That's when I found the flea.

Oh boy.

However, I couldn't launch into my usual vacuum-spray-poison-shampoo tornado of hyper death, because it was time to go work on the rabbit hutches.

Oh joy of joys.

So I drug myself and the itchy ass dog down to the site where I could work out my frustration at life by moving gravel around in a wheelbarrow. We laid down a think layer of gravel, followed by a light layer of sand. At this point it was decided that we should probably take a break and go to town during the heat of the day cause we were kinda out of food and junk.

Town was towny, and I got the rare joy of learning that the reason I couldn't log into my bank account online was that I am an idiot because I never set up a user name. Awesome. We also bought flea shampoo and flea floor spray which I realized upon getting it home that I can't use because I am fairly sure that it will kill Miss Peeperington.

When we got back we decided to work on the framing, since we were going to embed the posts in the concrete.


Except nothing wanted to work. Even with two of us, the structure was shimmying around, making it almost impossible to keep level. Also at one point I was responsible for keeping three posts upright simultaneously because there was only two of us.

It took a while to finally get the lower sections of boards on. First off the vibration of screwing the boards on would knock any tool off of the frame you had on there, so the first hour was spent dodging screw guns and levels and screws because it's human fucking nature to set things onto a surface at waist level no matter how stupid that might be in retrospect.

At this point, with most of the lower level intact and the structure being able to stand on it's own, I became convinced that it had been possessed by some sort of wandering malevolent entity* Nothing was coming up level. And when we did get something level the whole thing would lean and shift and put us right back into fuckallsville in a hurry. There was cursing and accusations and anger and yelling and thoughts of murder. We fought those posts and no matter how hard we worked nothing NOTHING was staying level. You could do one side and then walk back over to the other and it would be as crooked as a uh, motherfucking crooked thing.

The final straw seemed to be, after moving a board yet again, the level dived off the top of the board and landed with a loud smack right into the sand. For a moment Scott didn't move. I figured this was the moment that he would snap and declare that we were making a Salvidor Dali bunny hutch and that they were just going to have to live with it.

Slowly, like a man in a dream he reached down and picked up the level.

“The level.” he said.

Yup this would be that breakdown I thought was coming.

“The level,” he repeated, “it's not level.”

The level was broken. It had been dropped, and the plasitc level bit with the bubble had been knocked, ever so slightly out of whack. Together we stared at our levely Judas. Then we threw it into the dirt pile and found another fucking level.

It only took us half on hour to fix it after that.

Which was about the time the guy from Miss Utility (the call before you dig so you don't dig through a fucking gas line people) showed up. I think he was there for all of ten minutes. He walked over, we showed him where we were going to be digging, he examined the power pole told us we were good and zoomed off in his truck. Also, he was wearing bright orange sneakers that looked like had been spray painted that color cause that's how he rolls apparently.

So that was good.

But of course the day wasn't over. We still had to set up for the pour tomorrow which I will be getting up at 6:30am to fucking do because you can never have to early of a start when you will be mixing and pouring cement. And then of course I had to launch into murder the fleas mode where I vacuumed and bathed the dog in flea shampoo that you had to leave on for a WHOLE FIVE FUCKING MINUTES while the dog kept shaking and got shampoo all over me but at least I will now be flea free. And of course I had to write this entry which you all won't read till morning cause I am not posting shit tonight.

This was one of those days that was more like several days all crammed into one day. I think I would like to go back to having just one day in my day, thank you very much.

Now I am going to eat ice cream until I feel better about life.

Fix my pain, ice cream.

Fix my pain.

*It's probably that ghost chicken.

 Want more Rabbit Hutch Adventures? Or course you do Here's Part Three. 

  Confused? Here's Part 1.


  1. I liked this on so many levels! (see what i did there.)

    Are those EUREKA! moments not the best feeling in the world?
    I imagine you are mixing and pouring your own cement. We generally call the truck but it always seems that the time you set up for delivery is always a half hour BEFORE you're ready! Always!

    Loved the picture, the roosters made it cooler. :)

  2. Yes, we will be mixing our own. It doesn't make much sense to have any delivered for such a tiny project, really.

  3. Holy cow that level was such a fucking jerk. I cussed for you just reading it. And thanks for the groundhog tip - Bubba's got some work to do.

  4. We need a tool shed. Could you swing by? I don't care if it is level.

  5. I love the rooster (s?) staking his territory around the base of the new hutch site. Clear evidence of the ghost chicken! Also - I would pay to see a Salvador Dali hutch. Awesome.

    Your conclusion reminds of the movie "28 Days" (Sandra Bullock, etc.) where she's in a rehab progam and makes of the line "One day at a time" - she says, "What, like 2 or 3 days at once is an option?" You have just proved that point. You ARE the queen.

  6. ha great story, you got any new updates on the rabbit hutch??